One thing I learned during my many years as a NICU nurse, was how to approach babies in mindful ways. So often, very little consideration is given to how we come into contact with babies - especially if we touch them while they’re asleep, or have just woken up, or actually, whenever we “do” anything.
We start undressing them to change their nappy.
We poke a nipple, or a bottle, or a dummy into their mouth, often without warning.
We pick them up under their armpits, or with a hand under their bum and their head.
We dip them, naked, into a warm bath without explanation.
Now maybe I’m a little weirdo, but I often find myself wondering what life would be like if we treated others in our lives in the same ways we treat babies, or if others did these things to us. I have wondered how I would respond if someone suddenly picked me up by the armpits when I woke up in the morning…#headspin! Or, how my friends would respond if I patted them on the head when I saw them, or tickled their belly! 🤣
Ok, ok, I know things are a bit different as adults, but seriously, I do contemplate these things. I believe it's important to explore how we can respect the bodies and energy fields of Earth’s newest arrivals, to teach them young, just as we would expect others to do for us, and us for them.
So, a few years ago I began to experiment in the NICU I was working in. Almost every baby there is hooked up to a cardiorespiratory monitor that showed at least a heart rate and breathing rate. This gave me objective, real-time data to see how babies responded to how we approached them and interacted with them. What I found was that loud, fast, unexplained movements and touch startled them, while a gentle, clear voice with steady, nurturing touch minimised the variability in their heart rate and breathing.
Imagine this:
A baby is sleeping, but just beginning to stir. Suddenly the blinds are opened, the overhead light is turned on, the incubator wobbles because someone has leaned against it, and the incubator doors open with a “snap” and cold air rushes into the warm, womby 33deg regulated cot temperature. What do you think happens to this baby’s heart rate and breathing rate? If someone did that to me when I was waking up, my heart rate would double and I’d hyperventilate. Then I’d probably pull the doona up over my head.
And this is what happened to babies (except the doona bit). Their heart rate would go from a healthy, resting rate of 120-140bpm to jump up to 170 or even 180bpm within five seconds. Their breathing rate would increase and become more irregular as their little bodies tried to regulate and find a new equilibrium again.
These observations not only profoundly changed how I approached the babies I cared for in NICU, but they also changed how I continue to care for babies now and how I teach mothers to support their babies in mindful ways. I also check in with myself: how do I want to be approached? If you start talking loudly and incessantly at me, or goo and gah in my face, then it’s unlikely I’ll interact. If you try to pat me on the head, I’ll flick away your hand. But if you talk to me gently and clearly, and give me time to figure out who you are and get my feet on the ground, then you’re in with a chance.
Do you have a baby in your life - either yours or someone else's?
If so, I’d love for you to try this little exercise below and let me know how it goes!
Approach the baby quietly and calmly as you move into their energy field and personal space, so they know you’re there
Talk in a soft, gentle voice such as “hello SweetPea, it’s Lauren here”
Hold their feet first with your palms to the soles of their feet (like the picture above). Have one little foot in each of your hands, or hold both feet in one hand. Just hold them firmly, steadily.
Also allow them to wiggle, kick, look around and give them time to get used to being in your presence
Try not to pat, or stroke or tickle their feet though. Notice if it’s a habitual urge that comes up for you, and remind yourself how you would feel if someone was to pat, stroke or tickle your feet? 🤣
Our feet are so important! When we’re in the womb we explore our surroundings, our boundaries, with our feet. When we’re born, we continue to do so. And even as adults, we use our feet to explore our surroundings, to take us places, and most importantly … to ground us. Babies feet are for grounding too, so let’s give them the chance to do so and make their early days, weeks and months just a little bit easier as they acclimate to their new world.
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